The plane had finally landed. Pancho was intensely relieved. The air conditioning situated right above his head had frozen him stiff. As if that wasn’t bad enough, his seat had been conveniently located in front of the toilet cubicle, allowing for no room to push his seat back into a more comfortable position. It had one positive however, at least he could reach the toilet without any major pains or waits.
What had captivated Pancho the most however, was the non functioning audio system and the gobsmackingly awful selection of movies that were played. Pancho was intensily disappointed that he could not listen to the intellectual dialogues that would surely populate these teen movies.
Fortunately the journey was now over and the stories that Pancho heard from his fellow travelers made him feel slightly more comfortable. In the part of the cabin where most of his companions had sat, a unique orchestra of wailing babies had given a live performance not to be missed. And surpassing even that, one of the younger travelers on the plane had managed to spread the contents of his not too small belly across the carpeted cabin floor.
Despite a slight headache and a very dry throat Pancho could not help but take these stories with a pinch of humour. Additionally, to his delight his dry throat was corrected almost the instant he left the airplane. Leisurely strolling onto the gangway the humidity hit him like a wet towel. This mixed with the still tolerable temperature of semi cooled air, made him finally realize that he was in for an experience of the different kind.
After passing through customs and what seemed like about a million stamps in their passport, the group of painfully obvious foreigners was picked up by members of their hosting organization. Quickly they were transported through the chaotic traffic of Bangkok to a hotel that was very much of Pancho’s taste. Air conditioned, good food, pleasant rooms and a swimming pool to relax.
Pancho was to reside in this 5 star residence for 3 nights. Not a bad start to his little adventure he thought.
Compared to the plane the air conditioning was pleasant here at first. Such a contrast to the heat and smog filled air of Bangkok. Even the bus that had chauffeured the group to the hotel had been hot, despite air conditioning. Though the strangely different world around easily distracted from that fact. Stray dogs roaming down streets filled with tiny engined motorcycles. Palm trees, temples and thick black electricity cables hanging from rows of masts either side of the road.
What a challenge! The language alone was enough to frighten Pancho back onto the plane. His first impression of Thai was too much a quagmire to even put into words. But he accepted this challenge gracefully. It certainly beat the excitement of attending lectures at university. Pancho merely wondered what his host town would be like in comparison to this. The presence of a 5 star hotel would probably be too much to hope for.
At the hotel Pancho and his two favourite companions, Robert and Phil quickly managed to locate the refreshing swimming pool. With great astonishment the discovered that the pool was so shallow that one could always stand. Swimming was thus greatly hindered at one end where the water barely reached knee level. After the three had managed to acquire some towels from the helpful but noncommunicative staff they greatly enjoyed this refreshment before an excellent array of foods for supper. Pancho was delighted to find ample amounts of delicious sashimi, a dish he had not been able to indulge in for quite a few years.
Following the lavish dinner the first part of the program was their welcome.
The group was sat down in a room with brown envelopes before them on the table. Pancho was pleasantly convinced by the make up of the room as it was set up in a way that suggested that they were all taking part in a conference.
The first speaker was a shock to the system.
The eminent teacher that took stage managed to make every glass in the room tremble with her booming voice amplified by the microphone. As with most Thai people Pancho had attempted a feeble exchange of words, this teacher’s English was not the greatest either. She made up for it with the ample use of interesting sound effects and body language.
Pancho took a liking to the lady immediately. As he looked around the room, he noticed however that some of his fellow travelers had trouble understanding her explosive speech. That would settle, Pancho though to himself. They would get used to the different type of thinking in Asia and be able to interpret the mixture of words, gestures and sound effects such as “Gaaaah, gaaaah, gaaaah” which was used as explanation for many a thing.
Pancho was soon disappointed however. The next three days passed in much the same monotonous and draining manner. Wake up early, tired due to jetlag, breakfast, speeches by the booming voice lady, lunch, more speeches, dinner, and even more speeches to finally be followed by fitful sleep.
The only excitement came when the organizers thought it good for group members to get out of the hotel for once.
The air conditioning had quickly proven too much and frozen even the stoutest in the group. 15°C over a number of hours simply proved too much even for their hardened European physiques. Stepping out into the wet warmth of Thailand felt like a relief, despite the loud and dirty air. Pancho and his companions passed by frying chickens and other interesting or unidentifiable food stalls, over crumbling pedestrian bridges and into the rammed Carrefour shopping center. Here the prices seemed to know no bottom and dropped even past what would be considered ridiculous in eastern Europe. The result was necessarily a small shopping spree including a few new garments to complete Pancho’s exquisite little collection and a mobile phone for every eventuality. To Pancho’s immediate disappointment the prices for phones weren’t as ridiculous as he would have wished so he settled for a model that barely suited his demanding needs (that was the second cheapest phone, the cheapest phone was some no name brand he did not trust an ounce).
The trousers Pancho acquired in good faith turned out to be about 6 sizes too small, thus a return trip to the shopping center was required the next day.
The first challenge! Trying to tell the shop attendant what size he needed was virtually impossible. He quickly discovered that despite having been rigorously drilled in bargaining for prices, he knew not one word required for this situation. Needless to mention that the attendant spoke no English at all.
Luckily one of the organizers was present to assist him at first, but shockingly disappeared shortly after leaving Pancho miserably alone.
The conversation then went somewhat like this (The Thai is freely translated and interpreted):
The attendant asked in Thai “What is your size, sir?”
Pancho looked at the trousers on the desk and back at the attendant. “Sorry, me no Thai!”
The attendant replied in Thai “Sorry, me no English!”
At this Pancho thought speaking a little louder might help the meaning “Sorry, ME NO THAI!”
Evidently this had no effect as the attendant continued to converse in the strange language “Sorry, me no English!”
Pancho’s bewildered stare made the attendant try a different tactic. She pointed at the trousers.
“What size trousers do you need?”
Despite not understanding a word Pancho’s superior intellect jumped to the correct conclusion. Oh, she wants to know what size I am. Now what were those damn numbers again in Thai. Pancho tried his best “Uhm two….two… Ahhh, twenty, oh no, thirty six maybe”
The mix of English and Thai including incorrect intonation seemed to boggle the attendants simple mind. She tried a different tactic “I will give you the money back and you can go and by the correct size then.”
Pancho could only answer with a blank stare. I just bloody well told her that I don’t speak Thai. And I just told her the size…what else could she want?!
Luckily the organizer returned at that instant to save Pancho from any further embarrassment.
Soon after Pancho had finally purchased the correct sized trousers and an additional pair, he met a bewildered member of his group trying to send a letter back to the home land.
“Pancho! Come and help me! I want to send this letter home and this woman is telling me that it will cost 1000 Baht (about€20/$25)!”
Pancho looked amazed but was not thrown. He was still too proud to have mastered his first Thai conversation in such a superior manner.
“What? Are you sure?! You must have misunderstood my dear.” He gave the attendant a sympathetic smile as he was sure that his companion, Catherine was her name, must have misunderstood. Not everybody could be as intuitively adept at languages and understanding other people as Pancho did.
“Yes she tells me it costs 1000Baht for it arrive in a week, otherwise it is 100Baht and it will take 3 months for this bloody little letter!!!” Pancho stared at the envelope she held up in amused disbelief “Ae you certain?”
Catherine turned to the attendant who was now cheekily smiling at Pancho. She picked up the letter “I send this to Germany! How much?”
The attendant replied in a waterfall of Thai syllables even unintelligible to Pancho. She then proceeded to point at 1000 written on a piece of paper. Catherine almost exploded.
“That is too expensive! Simply ridiculous! How can that be?! I just want to send the letter, no extra services!”
Pancho noticed that her temper was beginning to boil high. The attendant just continued to smile at Pancho. Even a bystander who came to help did not improve the situation. The next 10 minutes of this conversation went as follows.
Catherine asked again and again how much sending the letter would be to which the attendant would reply “1000 till next Friday and 100 in three months”
This naturally would drive Catherine mad every time it was mentioned. Despite about 6 people standing around now the attendant still only smiled at Pancho while he eventually grew tired of the entertainment. Luckily just then, the program organizer popped by to lend his support. Pancho thus found out that there had not been any misunderstanding after all. The express letter over one week was actually 1000 Baht and the normal letter was merely 100 but would take 3 months. Right then Pancho made an extremely important decision. He would definitely not send any mail over the following year. He just he would have sufficient access to internet!
What had captivated Pancho the most however, was the non functioning audio system and the gobsmackingly awful selection of movies that were played. Pancho was intensily disappointed that he could not listen to the intellectual dialogues that would surely populate these teen movies.
Fortunately the journey was now over and the stories that Pancho heard from his fellow travelers made him feel slightly more comfortable. In the part of the cabin where most of his companions had sat, a unique orchestra of wailing babies had given a live performance not to be missed. And surpassing even that, one of the younger travelers on the plane had managed to spread the contents of his not too small belly across the carpeted cabin floor.
Despite a slight headache and a very dry throat Pancho could not help but take these stories with a pinch of humour. Additionally, to his delight his dry throat was corrected almost the instant he left the airplane. Leisurely strolling onto the gangway the humidity hit him like a wet towel. This mixed with the still tolerable temperature of semi cooled air, made him finally realize that he was in for an experience of the different kind.
After passing through customs and what seemed like about a million stamps in their passport, the group of painfully obvious foreigners was picked up by members of their hosting organization. Quickly they were transported through the chaotic traffic of Bangkok to a hotel that was very much of Pancho’s taste. Air conditioned, good food, pleasant rooms and a swimming pool to relax.
Pancho was to reside in this 5 star residence for 3 nights. Not a bad start to his little adventure he thought.
Compared to the plane the air conditioning was pleasant here at first. Such a contrast to the heat and smog filled air of Bangkok. Even the bus that had chauffeured the group to the hotel had been hot, despite air conditioning. Though the strangely different world around easily distracted from that fact. Stray dogs roaming down streets filled with tiny engined motorcycles. Palm trees, temples and thick black electricity cables hanging from rows of masts either side of the road.
What a challenge! The language alone was enough to frighten Pancho back onto the plane. His first impression of Thai was too much a quagmire to even put into words. But he accepted this challenge gracefully. It certainly beat the excitement of attending lectures at university. Pancho merely wondered what his host town would be like in comparison to this. The presence of a 5 star hotel would probably be too much to hope for.
At the hotel Pancho and his two favourite companions, Robert and Phil quickly managed to locate the refreshing swimming pool. With great astonishment the discovered that the pool was so shallow that one could always stand. Swimming was thus greatly hindered at one end where the water barely reached knee level. After the three had managed to acquire some towels from the helpful but noncommunicative staff they greatly enjoyed this refreshment before an excellent array of foods for supper. Pancho was delighted to find ample amounts of delicious sashimi, a dish he had not been able to indulge in for quite a few years.
Following the lavish dinner the first part of the program was their welcome.
The group was sat down in a room with brown envelopes before them on the table. Pancho was pleasantly convinced by the make up of the room as it was set up in a way that suggested that they were all taking part in a conference.
The first speaker was a shock to the system.
The eminent teacher that took stage managed to make every glass in the room tremble with her booming voice amplified by the microphone. As with most Thai people Pancho had attempted a feeble exchange of words, this teacher’s English was not the greatest either. She made up for it with the ample use of interesting sound effects and body language.
Pancho took a liking to the lady immediately. As he looked around the room, he noticed however that some of his fellow travelers had trouble understanding her explosive speech. That would settle, Pancho though to himself. They would get used to the different type of thinking in Asia and be able to interpret the mixture of words, gestures and sound effects such as “Gaaaah, gaaaah, gaaaah” which was used as explanation for many a thing.
Pancho was soon disappointed however. The next three days passed in much the same monotonous and draining manner. Wake up early, tired due to jetlag, breakfast, speeches by the booming voice lady, lunch, more speeches, dinner, and even more speeches to finally be followed by fitful sleep.
The only excitement came when the organizers thought it good for group members to get out of the hotel for once.
The air conditioning had quickly proven too much and frozen even the stoutest in the group. 15°C over a number of hours simply proved too much even for their hardened European physiques. Stepping out into the wet warmth of Thailand felt like a relief, despite the loud and dirty air. Pancho and his companions passed by frying chickens and other interesting or unidentifiable food stalls, over crumbling pedestrian bridges and into the rammed Carrefour shopping center. Here the prices seemed to know no bottom and dropped even past what would be considered ridiculous in eastern Europe. The result was necessarily a small shopping spree including a few new garments to complete Pancho’s exquisite little collection and a mobile phone for every eventuality. To Pancho’s immediate disappointment the prices for phones weren’t as ridiculous as he would have wished so he settled for a model that barely suited his demanding needs (that was the second cheapest phone, the cheapest phone was some no name brand he did not trust an ounce).
The trousers Pancho acquired in good faith turned out to be about 6 sizes too small, thus a return trip to the shopping center was required the next day.
The first challenge! Trying to tell the shop attendant what size he needed was virtually impossible. He quickly discovered that despite having been rigorously drilled in bargaining for prices, he knew not one word required for this situation. Needless to mention that the attendant spoke no English at all.
Luckily one of the organizers was present to assist him at first, but shockingly disappeared shortly after leaving Pancho miserably alone.
The conversation then went somewhat like this (The Thai is freely translated and interpreted):
The attendant asked in Thai “What is your size, sir?”
Pancho looked at the trousers on the desk and back at the attendant. “Sorry, me no Thai!”
The attendant replied in Thai “Sorry, me no English!”
At this Pancho thought speaking a little louder might help the meaning “Sorry, ME NO THAI!”
Evidently this had no effect as the attendant continued to converse in the strange language “Sorry, me no English!”
Pancho’s bewildered stare made the attendant try a different tactic. She pointed at the trousers.
“What size trousers do you need?”
Despite not understanding a word Pancho’s superior intellect jumped to the correct conclusion. Oh, she wants to know what size I am. Now what were those damn numbers again in Thai. Pancho tried his best “Uhm two….two… Ahhh, twenty, oh no, thirty six maybe”
The mix of English and Thai including incorrect intonation seemed to boggle the attendants simple mind. She tried a different tactic “I will give you the money back and you can go and by the correct size then.”
Pancho could only answer with a blank stare. I just bloody well told her that I don’t speak Thai. And I just told her the size…what else could she want?!
Luckily the organizer returned at that instant to save Pancho from any further embarrassment.
Soon after Pancho had finally purchased the correct sized trousers and an additional pair, he met a bewildered member of his group trying to send a letter back to the home land.
“Pancho! Come and help me! I want to send this letter home and this woman is telling me that it will cost 1000 Baht (about€20/$25)!”
Pancho looked amazed but was not thrown. He was still too proud to have mastered his first Thai conversation in such a superior manner.
“What? Are you sure?! You must have misunderstood my dear.” He gave the attendant a sympathetic smile as he was sure that his companion, Catherine was her name, must have misunderstood. Not everybody could be as intuitively adept at languages and understanding other people as Pancho did.
“Yes she tells me it costs 1000Baht for it arrive in a week, otherwise it is 100Baht and it will take 3 months for this bloody little letter!!!” Pancho stared at the envelope she held up in amused disbelief “Ae you certain?”
Catherine turned to the attendant who was now cheekily smiling at Pancho. She picked up the letter “I send this to Germany! How much?”
The attendant replied in a waterfall of Thai syllables even unintelligible to Pancho. She then proceeded to point at 1000 written on a piece of paper. Catherine almost exploded.
“That is too expensive! Simply ridiculous! How can that be?! I just want to send the letter, no extra services!”
Pancho noticed that her temper was beginning to boil high. The attendant just continued to smile at Pancho. Even a bystander who came to help did not improve the situation. The next 10 minutes of this conversation went as follows.
Catherine asked again and again how much sending the letter would be to which the attendant would reply “1000 till next Friday and 100 in three months”
This naturally would drive Catherine mad every time it was mentioned. Despite about 6 people standing around now the attendant still only smiled at Pancho while he eventually grew tired of the entertainment. Luckily just then, the program organizer popped by to lend his support. Pancho thus found out that there had not been any misunderstanding after all. The express letter over one week was actually 1000 Baht and the normal letter was merely 100 but would take 3 months. Right then Pancho made an extremely important decision. He would definitely not send any mail over the following year. He just he would have sufficient access to internet!
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