Please excuse the spelling. Thai keyboard…
Two weeks! That’s what it had finally come down to. Pancho had two more or less full weeks until that fateful airplane (it was to be a horribly antiquated 747) would carry Pancho to the sweltering heat of South East Asia.
This short space of time before his departure was to be filled up with a hefty itinerary. First of all Pancho was determined to set aside some time in order to perfect his less than mediocre skills in the Thai language. This, with the exception of one productive hour, failed miserably. On top of having not managed to commit his time in a responsible manner, Pancho in an act of utter stupidity forgot to take his Thai textbook with him.
Sitting in the plane later on however, he managed to convince himself of the positive aspects of such a failure. The spark of adventure, the promise of a daring challenge! What greater challenge could there possibly be for the exquisitely knowledgeable Pancho Wodehouse to face, than the challenge of learning Thai from scratch without even the trace of a measly textbook. He told himself confidently; languages are learned best through total emersion in the culture, not through studying away at a desk.
Well, just in case he might have the book sent over.
Apart from failing to devote time to the Thai language, Pancho managed to drink a few beers with some good old friends, visit two matches of the greatest sport in the world. Good old English Football that is and… well he couldn’t remember the rest.
On one of the occasions of festive joviality together with friends he had not seen in some time, Pancho remarked very keenly on the despicable state of today’s youth.
Him and his friends had somehow found its way to a nightclub that could only be described as “complete opposite to high class”. What they all remarked immediately, especially Pancho in his most sophisticated manner was that the establishment was overrun by hordes of people in their mid thirties who somehow got stuck at the age of 14. But even worse were the innumerable alley rats that had probably barely reached the age of 14 before degrading into a cataclysm of alcohol and tobacco, too much make up, tanning salon and popped collar polo shirts.
Needless to say Pancho and his friends enjoyed their very own exquisite company while using the baseless foundering of society in order to spark some jovial conversation.
What struck Pancho however was that he had been to the same place quite a few years back and hardly noticed the scummy clientele. Naturally he took this as evidence that his social place and intellectual capacity had vastly improved since then.
But ignoring this positive aspect, what would come of these people? Just looking at them he could make out the lack of perspective and future that would drag these mere kids down in the end. This was not right. But sadly Pancho was too busy laughing about some of their ridiculous appearances than to ponder a possible solution to this sad dilemma.
In any case, Pancho had a far more pressing issue later on that night.
Having managed to get aboard the correct train to return home, Pancho had a sudden flash of insight. Through the windows of his carriage he believed to have seen the dimly sign to a train station very close to home.
To his frustration he had omitted the fact that this train didn’t even stop anywhere near that stop. As the doors closed behind him and he saw that the sign actually said something completely different he spun around and tried to reopen the doors. But alas, the train was starting to move already.
With his usual nonchalance he could do nothing else but to skip to the window at which his loyal companion still sat. Pancho somehow managed to indicate that he had been gravely mistaken. Baffled by such an improbable mistake his friend merely caught a glimpse of Pancho’s resigning smile as it disappeared into the darkness.
When Pancho read the timetable for the next train an uncanny conviction overcame him. This was going to be a long night. The next train was an hour away.
What choices remained? Only one, he slowly realised. His phone was dead and even if he waited for the next train he would still have to walk quite a distance. So he knuckled down and started strolling at a light jog. Eight kilometres, 4 jogs, 2 rainshowers and one attempt to drink falling raindrops later he finally entered his front door at 5 am. Right! He still had 6 hours to sleep at least before he was due for another appointment.
And before Pancho knew it, the two weeks were up, he had a hangover, 3 hours to pack and get ready for a 10 hour flight!
Two weeks! That’s what it had finally come down to. Pancho had two more or less full weeks until that fateful airplane (it was to be a horribly antiquated 747) would carry Pancho to the sweltering heat of South East Asia.
This short space of time before his departure was to be filled up with a hefty itinerary. First of all Pancho was determined to set aside some time in order to perfect his less than mediocre skills in the Thai language. This, with the exception of one productive hour, failed miserably. On top of having not managed to commit his time in a responsible manner, Pancho in an act of utter stupidity forgot to take his Thai textbook with him.
Sitting in the plane later on however, he managed to convince himself of the positive aspects of such a failure. The spark of adventure, the promise of a daring challenge! What greater challenge could there possibly be for the exquisitely knowledgeable Pancho Wodehouse to face, than the challenge of learning Thai from scratch without even the trace of a measly textbook. He told himself confidently; languages are learned best through total emersion in the culture, not through studying away at a desk.
Well, just in case he might have the book sent over.
Apart from failing to devote time to the Thai language, Pancho managed to drink a few beers with some good old friends, visit two matches of the greatest sport in the world. Good old English Football that is and… well he couldn’t remember the rest.
On one of the occasions of festive joviality together with friends he had not seen in some time, Pancho remarked very keenly on the despicable state of today’s youth.
Him and his friends had somehow found its way to a nightclub that could only be described as “complete opposite to high class”. What they all remarked immediately, especially Pancho in his most sophisticated manner was that the establishment was overrun by hordes of people in their mid thirties who somehow got stuck at the age of 14. But even worse were the innumerable alley rats that had probably barely reached the age of 14 before degrading into a cataclysm of alcohol and tobacco, too much make up, tanning salon and popped collar polo shirts.
Needless to say Pancho and his friends enjoyed their very own exquisite company while using the baseless foundering of society in order to spark some jovial conversation.
What struck Pancho however was that he had been to the same place quite a few years back and hardly noticed the scummy clientele. Naturally he took this as evidence that his social place and intellectual capacity had vastly improved since then.
But ignoring this positive aspect, what would come of these people? Just looking at them he could make out the lack of perspective and future that would drag these mere kids down in the end. This was not right. But sadly Pancho was too busy laughing about some of their ridiculous appearances than to ponder a possible solution to this sad dilemma.
In any case, Pancho had a far more pressing issue later on that night.
Having managed to get aboard the correct train to return home, Pancho had a sudden flash of insight. Through the windows of his carriage he believed to have seen the dimly sign to a train station very close to home.
To his frustration he had omitted the fact that this train didn’t even stop anywhere near that stop. As the doors closed behind him and he saw that the sign actually said something completely different he spun around and tried to reopen the doors. But alas, the train was starting to move already.
With his usual nonchalance he could do nothing else but to skip to the window at which his loyal companion still sat. Pancho somehow managed to indicate that he had been gravely mistaken. Baffled by such an improbable mistake his friend merely caught a glimpse of Pancho’s resigning smile as it disappeared into the darkness.
When Pancho read the timetable for the next train an uncanny conviction overcame him. This was going to be a long night. The next train was an hour away.
What choices remained? Only one, he slowly realised. His phone was dead and even if he waited for the next train he would still have to walk quite a distance. So he knuckled down and started strolling at a light jog. Eight kilometres, 4 jogs, 2 rainshowers and one attempt to drink falling raindrops later he finally entered his front door at 5 am. Right! He still had 6 hours to sleep at least before he was due for another appointment.
And before Pancho knew it, the two weeks were up, he had a hangover, 3 hours to pack and get ready for a 10 hour flight!
I'm impressed at your last event in the Western hemisphere before moving to the East. You've managed most of things Western culture is realistically famous for; drinking in poor (or pretentious) establishments, late nights, and a marvellous public transport system.
AntwortenLöschenThen again, surely a Thai person somewhere is commenting on his mates blog (not without an air of obnoxious distaste), that his last few days in the Eastern hemisphere were fraught with the classic failings of his own culture, before his moving to the West.
Anyway, that's about as close as I can be bothered to come to intellectually stimulating at 10.39 on a Sunday morning. Hows it going mate? You having fun with your limited lingo? If all else fails go the English route and point at what you want and shout louder and louder, failing that stick on a national football team shirt, drink some cans of warm lager and smash the place up singing some bad rendition of the national anthem of your country of choice ;)
Very good sir! I like the intellectual content of your post. Much down my alley. I must be off for lunch, eating frogs and all.
AntwortenLöschen