The Bus! What an exhilarating experience. Travelling over bumpy roads, trying to sleep while freezing to death in the air conditioned cabin without any space to place one’s legs. Pancho had a jolly good blast.
He was sad to have to disembark from this fabulous vehicle as he arrived in Phunee in the wee ours of the morning. The three figures, Pancho, his coordinator and his advisor stood like lonely stragglers at the bus stop after the tumultuous slumber party on the bus. On seeing the assemblage of low houses around Pancho wondered whether he would not prefer living with his host sister in Bangkok. But he could not think any further as in the next moment a Volvo with blackened windows and shiny rims drove up and stopped in front of them.
Pancho was just in the motions of thinking what kind of pimp had come to extort him right after he arrived when out stepped his host father and host mother. With broad beaming smiles they accepted their new son for a year and loaded the three arrivals into the car. The car could only be described as an affront to any cultured taste, but Pancho couldn’t help but feel a pang of excitement as he saw the vehicle. It looked more like the modicum to experience some interesting adventures than anything else.
Pancho was soon introduced to another vehicle that he thought even more impressive. “The Beast”, as he would call it, sat quietly in the darkness of the street, strapped into its trailer. Immediately after the 1 minute car ride from the bus station to the house Pancho was led to it by his host father.
The Beast was a 300 horsepower 4 wheel drive vehicle with the body the size of a beetle but wheels the size of a truck. To make the first impression even more daunting it was covered absolutely entirely in a thick cake of mud. Pancho was told in broken English and with the use of body language that his father had only just returned from a race a few hours ago.
So much for first impressions Pancho thought. He now understood why Piu had been worried that he was somewhat on the softer side. This family was definitely not of the refined type. He was slightly shocked but at the same time strangely intrigued by this opportunity to maybe study his more rugged country bumpkin side.
Next thing up, Pancho was luckily exempt from having to attend school that day. The jet lag, lack of rest at the hotel paired with the 10 hour bus trip had greatly taken their toll on him. He cherished what would be a long sleep in that day. And he just got to bed as the first rays of daylight crept over the horizon.
The sky itself was shrouded in clouds. And almost immediately as he lay down in his cluttered by comfortable room all hell broke loose and a torrential downpour made the accompanying thunder sound like cats meowing.
Pancho slept almost straight through this, like a rock until 2 pm.
His first visit to the toilet was an experience. He entered the bathroom with some hesitation. He had heard about the dire uncivilized types of toilets that prevailed in some parts of Asia, he had even seen and had to use them during his dealings in empire of Nippon. However he had never had to use one consistently. So with great joy Pancho perceived that the toilet was of western standards, flushable and all. The only problem was probably that there was no toilet paper. He stood there for a few moments wondering how he would break this problem to his family with his non existent Thai. They spoke very little English.
And then a light switched on in his head. By the use of his keen eyesight Pancho had discovered a hose connected to a small shower head next to the toilet! That must be it! The solution.
Additionally the whole bathroom was constructed as a shower room. Therefore showering would be the mode of choice for any occasion. Additionally he had been told repeatedly that it was vital that one shower at least twice a day considering the mean and deadly temperatures that prevailed in these parts of the globe. Testing out the bathroom equipment proved as easy as expected and Pancho was satisfied that he would live somewhat in comfort. Even if it may not be the standards he was used to, these would have to do. He would relish returning to the west in a year’s time.
Walking downstairs that “morning” Pancho had to call upon no uncertain amount of courage. It is always a fragile matter waking up in a foreign house for the first time and making ones way to the living room. Would any body be present? What are the normal procedures? It is always positively puzzling. And interestingly people who have never really been in such a situation do not understand what it is like to tread so thinly upon the ice of cordiality. Especially in a foreign culture it was easy to cause a minor disturbance for one’s self but a major one in that of the host. This could easily lead to thoroughly ruined relations for the rest of the stay.
Considering that Pancho was meant to stay for 9 months he could really not risk such an occasion.
When he entered the living room (here it must be noted that it is not within the house but a roofed area without walls) he was met by the old dame of the house, the grandmother, henceforth referred to as Kunyay. In the youthly spirit that abounds when something new and exciting happens, she nimbly set about explaining in great painstaking detail what he was to eat for “breakfast” and was of good taste and what an extremely pleasurable experience for the taste buds and all.
Naturally Pancho understood none of the Warnings such as
“This is very spicy, watch out!” or encouragements by the likes of
“Try this, it should be fine for your weak foreigners gut!” It stands to debate whether the words were actually uttered in such a way, but the errors may be put down to translational issues between two utterly different languages.
Touching on this point it is actually quite interesting how one learns foreign languages under full immersion in the culture. Pancho had experienced such occasions already and believed whole heartedly in his theory that the beginning was the most difficult. The curve of learning moved in an exponential way until it reached a slight plateau at which it becomes necessary to study the language seriously to again increase the gradient of said curve.
Pancho found himself at the beginning of this curve however. And as he knew virtually zero the next step would also be virtually zero. Not a very promising outlook, but he knew it would get better.
He also hoped that the food would become more digestible as time went on. His first meal that day simply burned away his mouth, as well as his guts as he later discovered.
Food was followed by a lesson in the Thai language by Kunyay. Seeing that she spoke maybe 3 words of English (including hot, table and pen) procedures proved somewhat tedious. To Pancho’s dismay the Thai language book (given to him by the hosting organization) had nought translation for “What is this” or “I do not understand” in the glossary. He bitterly regretted having forgotten his own book back home now.
In any case, the afternoon wore on and finally father and mother returned home to supply Pancho with more much needed attention.
As it is in new environments, one does not quite know where to manoeuvre the body to while others are busy getting things done. So Pancho casually drifted across the living area and finally was planted on a chair in the front yard when it had turned dark.
Quite a few people had assembled now, mainly workers for father he came to understand, as well as family friends. The issue however was understanding them and memorising the many names. Even for Pancho’s exceptional mental capabilities this task was simply a bit too much after 2 searing meals and the immersion in a sticky soup of unintelligible words of foreign languages (At this point it is worth mentioning that Pancho did not merely have to deal with the language of Thai but also with the language of Isan, a language associated with the north eastern region of Thailand).
Matters improved markedly however. Despite Pancho’s dread of the karaoke machine that had been set up in the yard, he was quite pleased with the following procedures. His presents of big Germanic beer glasses had been well received and the message naturally understood. This foreigner could drink. Accordingly the Thai speciality of soda with whiskey was brought forth.
And Pancho’s doubts that such a thing could taste in any way were cast away as senseless delusions very quickly. It actually tasted quite good, and the best thing was that one could suckle at the stuff for hours without getting drunk and all.
In any case we may conclude that Pancho’s experiences that evening were turned quite sweet. The visitors’ English tongues were loosened considerable by the ample drink. And despite their English being almost non existent the conversation picked up to heights of stratospheric levels.
As mentioned Pancho did not remember the names well however. Naturally this was down to the beer and whiskey consumed, though Pancho had to insist to himself that it really did not have any effect on him.
Despite drinking he even felt shy of singing karaoke, and was happy when his 5 song stint was interrupted by his European descent father’s phone call.
After the guests had finally all left, the grand finale was finally announced with the question whether Pancho could play the guitar. Knowing of his impressive skills he naturally could not deny. Surely they had already have discovered one of his numerous albums that were out for sale.
And out came the guitar. Pancho realised that the whiskey had to have affected his skills in no uncertain way as nothing sounded quite right. Actually he corrected, it had to have been the guitar he decided. His own, at home, was of such superior standard that playing on anything else could only result in failure.
At the end of this first day in his new home, Pancho could despite all confidently say that despite major insecurities this undertaking seemed like it would be a success, on the home front at least. On the morrow Pancho was to give a speech before the assembled school, and this time without the help of any scribblings on a sheet of paper. He practiced before his sleep and slept like a rock despite the intense temperature and the intense pressure of having to give such a major speech. It was before 1300 people after all.
He was sad to have to disembark from this fabulous vehicle as he arrived in Phunee in the wee ours of the morning. The three figures, Pancho, his coordinator and his advisor stood like lonely stragglers at the bus stop after the tumultuous slumber party on the bus. On seeing the assemblage of low houses around Pancho wondered whether he would not prefer living with his host sister in Bangkok. But he could not think any further as in the next moment a Volvo with blackened windows and shiny rims drove up and stopped in front of them.
Pancho was just in the motions of thinking what kind of pimp had come to extort him right after he arrived when out stepped his host father and host mother. With broad beaming smiles they accepted their new son for a year and loaded the three arrivals into the car. The car could only be described as an affront to any cultured taste, but Pancho couldn’t help but feel a pang of excitement as he saw the vehicle. It looked more like the modicum to experience some interesting adventures than anything else.
Pancho was soon introduced to another vehicle that he thought even more impressive. “The Beast”, as he would call it, sat quietly in the darkness of the street, strapped into its trailer. Immediately after the 1 minute car ride from the bus station to the house Pancho was led to it by his host father.
The Beast was a 300 horsepower 4 wheel drive vehicle with the body the size of a beetle but wheels the size of a truck. To make the first impression even more daunting it was covered absolutely entirely in a thick cake of mud. Pancho was told in broken English and with the use of body language that his father had only just returned from a race a few hours ago.
So much for first impressions Pancho thought. He now understood why Piu had been worried that he was somewhat on the softer side. This family was definitely not of the refined type. He was slightly shocked but at the same time strangely intrigued by this opportunity to maybe study his more rugged country bumpkin side.
Next thing up, Pancho was luckily exempt from having to attend school that day. The jet lag, lack of rest at the hotel paired with the 10 hour bus trip had greatly taken their toll on him. He cherished what would be a long sleep in that day. And he just got to bed as the first rays of daylight crept over the horizon.
The sky itself was shrouded in clouds. And almost immediately as he lay down in his cluttered by comfortable room all hell broke loose and a torrential downpour made the accompanying thunder sound like cats meowing.
Pancho slept almost straight through this, like a rock until 2 pm.
His first visit to the toilet was an experience. He entered the bathroom with some hesitation. He had heard about the dire uncivilized types of toilets that prevailed in some parts of Asia, he had even seen and had to use them during his dealings in empire of Nippon. However he had never had to use one consistently. So with great joy Pancho perceived that the toilet was of western standards, flushable and all. The only problem was probably that there was no toilet paper. He stood there for a few moments wondering how he would break this problem to his family with his non existent Thai. They spoke very little English.
And then a light switched on in his head. By the use of his keen eyesight Pancho had discovered a hose connected to a small shower head next to the toilet! That must be it! The solution.
Additionally the whole bathroom was constructed as a shower room. Therefore showering would be the mode of choice for any occasion. Additionally he had been told repeatedly that it was vital that one shower at least twice a day considering the mean and deadly temperatures that prevailed in these parts of the globe. Testing out the bathroom equipment proved as easy as expected and Pancho was satisfied that he would live somewhat in comfort. Even if it may not be the standards he was used to, these would have to do. He would relish returning to the west in a year’s time.
Walking downstairs that “morning” Pancho had to call upon no uncertain amount of courage. It is always a fragile matter waking up in a foreign house for the first time and making ones way to the living room. Would any body be present? What are the normal procedures? It is always positively puzzling. And interestingly people who have never really been in such a situation do not understand what it is like to tread so thinly upon the ice of cordiality. Especially in a foreign culture it was easy to cause a minor disturbance for one’s self but a major one in that of the host. This could easily lead to thoroughly ruined relations for the rest of the stay.
Considering that Pancho was meant to stay for 9 months he could really not risk such an occasion.
When he entered the living room (here it must be noted that it is not within the house but a roofed area without walls) he was met by the old dame of the house, the grandmother, henceforth referred to as Kunyay. In the youthly spirit that abounds when something new and exciting happens, she nimbly set about explaining in great painstaking detail what he was to eat for “breakfast” and was of good taste and what an extremely pleasurable experience for the taste buds and all.
Naturally Pancho understood none of the Warnings such as
“This is very spicy, watch out!” or encouragements by the likes of
“Try this, it should be fine for your weak foreigners gut!” It stands to debate whether the words were actually uttered in such a way, but the errors may be put down to translational issues between two utterly different languages.
Touching on this point it is actually quite interesting how one learns foreign languages under full immersion in the culture. Pancho had experienced such occasions already and believed whole heartedly in his theory that the beginning was the most difficult. The curve of learning moved in an exponential way until it reached a slight plateau at which it becomes necessary to study the language seriously to again increase the gradient of said curve.
Pancho found himself at the beginning of this curve however. And as he knew virtually zero the next step would also be virtually zero. Not a very promising outlook, but he knew it would get better.
He also hoped that the food would become more digestible as time went on. His first meal that day simply burned away his mouth, as well as his guts as he later discovered.
Food was followed by a lesson in the Thai language by Kunyay. Seeing that she spoke maybe 3 words of English (including hot, table and pen) procedures proved somewhat tedious. To Pancho’s dismay the Thai language book (given to him by the hosting organization) had nought translation for “What is this” or “I do not understand” in the glossary. He bitterly regretted having forgotten his own book back home now.
In any case, the afternoon wore on and finally father and mother returned home to supply Pancho with more much needed attention.
As it is in new environments, one does not quite know where to manoeuvre the body to while others are busy getting things done. So Pancho casually drifted across the living area and finally was planted on a chair in the front yard when it had turned dark.
Quite a few people had assembled now, mainly workers for father he came to understand, as well as family friends. The issue however was understanding them and memorising the many names. Even for Pancho’s exceptional mental capabilities this task was simply a bit too much after 2 searing meals and the immersion in a sticky soup of unintelligible words of foreign languages (At this point it is worth mentioning that Pancho did not merely have to deal with the language of Thai but also with the language of Isan, a language associated with the north eastern region of Thailand).
Matters improved markedly however. Despite Pancho’s dread of the karaoke machine that had been set up in the yard, he was quite pleased with the following procedures. His presents of big Germanic beer glasses had been well received and the message naturally understood. This foreigner could drink. Accordingly the Thai speciality of soda with whiskey was brought forth.
And Pancho’s doubts that such a thing could taste in any way were cast away as senseless delusions very quickly. It actually tasted quite good, and the best thing was that one could suckle at the stuff for hours without getting drunk and all.
In any case we may conclude that Pancho’s experiences that evening were turned quite sweet. The visitors’ English tongues were loosened considerable by the ample drink. And despite their English being almost non existent the conversation picked up to heights of stratospheric levels.
As mentioned Pancho did not remember the names well however. Naturally this was down to the beer and whiskey consumed, though Pancho had to insist to himself that it really did not have any effect on him.
Despite drinking he even felt shy of singing karaoke, and was happy when his 5 song stint was interrupted by his European descent father’s phone call.
After the guests had finally all left, the grand finale was finally announced with the question whether Pancho could play the guitar. Knowing of his impressive skills he naturally could not deny. Surely they had already have discovered one of his numerous albums that were out for sale.
And out came the guitar. Pancho realised that the whiskey had to have affected his skills in no uncertain way as nothing sounded quite right. Actually he corrected, it had to have been the guitar he decided. His own, at home, was of such superior standard that playing on anything else could only result in failure.
At the end of this first day in his new home, Pancho could despite all confidently say that despite major insecurities this undertaking seemed like it would be a success, on the home front at least. On the morrow Pancho was to give a speech before the assembled school, and this time without the help of any scribblings on a sheet of paper. He practiced before his sleep and slept like a rock despite the intense temperature and the intense pressure of having to give such a major speech. It was before 1300 people after all.
I hate that first walk into the living room as well... haha.. Good stuff mate, am spreading the gospel of Pancho Wodehouse!
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