As a most observant reader you may gather that the little village of Punee could be considered to lack the necessary entertainment for somebody with wide ranging experiences such as Pancho Wodehouse. As a matter of fact on weekends it was even boring for the villagers. Thus, next to drinking, a favourite distraction was to travel to the near by city of Ubon Ratchathani.
After an in depth analysis of the possibilities at hand Pancho came to the same conclusion. However, for insurance reasons he was not allowed to drive in Thailand but for independence reasons he needed an alternative to being chauffeured. So Pancho had decided to learn how to use the Thai public transport system. This he would do together with his very enjoyable advisor. After the first few weeks Pancho considered her a grand master for both joking around as well as serious intellectual conversation.
Thus on a Saturday morning they were to catch the 8am bus to Ubon. The first surprise of the day assaulted Pancho as he boarded that bus. In a jolly mood the driver, who Pancho could not recall ever having met, called him by his Thai nick name and asked where he was heading. Knowing about his relative fame but still somewhat surprised, Pancho replied politely that he was heading to Ubon. This was as a matter of fact the only realistic answer, however in Thailand it is a custom to ask where one is going just as one asks how one is doing in English speaking countries. One is not really interested in the reply.
Sitting in a relatively narrow seat a few moments later, Pancho for the first time was able to admire the luxuries of Thai buses. First of all the doors of this bus stayed open during the entire trip which meant the bus could be boarded anywhere and at anytime. As a matter of fact, every time it passed a small settlement or group of houses the driver would honk to announce his arrival. Just in case somebody failed to hear the tremendously loud bus approaching. What Pancho enjoyed about this bus in particular however was that the driver took pride in his sound system and actually played music for his passengers. Occasionally turning on rotating fans on the ceiling when it got too hot completed the quite comfortable ride. The acceptably cheap price was another bonus. Accordingly, in Pancho’s well traveled books this bus ride ranked quite highly. It fell under the category of: Greeted by name, cheap, enjoyable and relaxing.
Once in Ubon, after having finished some of his necessary shopping, Pancho was invited to enjoy the company of his advisor’s brother’s family. This included wife, daughter in law and grand children. Pancho, as an incredibly gifted linguist was naturally immediately asked to teach the children a little English. To his delight the two kids, about 4 and 8 were better at English than many of the teenagers he taught at school.
Eventually at lunch, Pancho enjoyed a relatively refined meal, not as rustically prepared as at home in Punee. For one, there were no bones in the meal that needed picking out. This made eating far less strenuous. But at the same time the food was only mildly spiced. A few months ago Pancho’s yet inexperienced taste buds would have thought the spices quite sufficient, now however he was somewhat disappointed in the bland application of chili. The two young children’s meal was what actually surprised Pancho however. Not one to be easily thrown he had not expected such strangeness, especially in this region of Thailand where savoury food generally was preferred. The two kids were fed on an entirely different dietary system to what he was accustomed to for anywhere in the world except for maybe America, which had a considerable sweet tooth. This diet made the children’s slight look of overweight plausible. Lunch for them consisted without exception only of a large helping of ice cream and cookies. Pancho, being extremely well mannered and conscious of social etiquette naturally did not remark on this fact. However he hoped dearly that this was not the complete spectrum of their diet. In his extremely wise opinion it did not bode well for their future.
After having enjoyed the meal with his advisor’s family it was finally time to head back home by public transport.
The ride home was by different means than in the morning. The usual mode of transport was by minibus. The term minibus can mean either a flatbed truck or a pick up/ute (for the Australian readers) with a roofed construction on the back, where travelers sit facing each other on opposing benches. The roof may frequently also be used as seating. In this case the roof was actually used for transportation as the relatively small minibus (a small truck) was crammed full with a restaurant’s shopping as well as at least 30 people. These passengers partially sat inside, stood inside, sat on the roof or stood at the end of the truck holding on to railings. Pancho quite enjoyed this mode of transport as it proved to be a different sort of experience and was actually quite cool for the breeze that blew in from the open sides.
On this first occasion however his advisor and him had a strange encounter. They boarded a relatively full bus. However as they climbed aboard, immediately a seating gap opened up at the far left end, right next to a Thai lady in a pink suit.
Soon after sitting down Pancho’s keen sense for recognition of social patterns warned him why seating had been so readily provided. The simple reason for what they initially perceived as luck was a cold and calculated move by the lady to Pancho’s right. She had let the innocent and unknowing newcomers fall into the trap of sitting down between the pink lady and the other passengers on that side. Soon he would understand the gravity of this foolish mistake.
As soon as they were seated the lady in the pink suit started chatting amiably to his advisor. Initially by using monosyllabic answers, his advisor attempted to subtly convey that she was not too interested in conversation. At least in Pancho’s distinguished ability to observe he guessed this much. Evidently not satisfied with this conversation the lady turned to speak to Pancho. Not in Thai but actually in English. Delighted to be speaking to someone this fluent Pancho welcomed a bit of conversation. The lady had lived an America, married an American who had died recently and was now back in Thailand. Pancho’s first flash of interest quickly subsided however. Something about her mix of American and Thai cultures did not quite agree with him. The lady smiled frequently and was very interested in foreigners, evidently the Thai culture. But at the same time she was extremely outgoing and failed to register any subtle uses of language intended to direct the conversation. This as Pancho found were characteristics present in some Americans and could make it difficult to uphold the conversation. On their own, Pancho could enjoy all of these characteristics considerably, mixed together however they did cause a tad of worry for good old Pancho. He first became aware of this sentiment when the woman would not stop talking about money not being able to buy love and all. Not having anything further to add to her succinct analysis of the matter, he nodded. This became the standard pattern of their conversation. Pancho eventually gave up on trying to influence it and followed his advisor’s monosyllabic example. However he realized that the situation was becoming critical when the woman decided to take off her pink suit jacket revealing a blue bathing suit beneath. The at least 60 year old woman commented on this in the following matter.
“Oh it is hot!” To this Pancho said a definitive and approving “Yes”
Then undressing (to the other passenger’s horror. It is inappropriate for a woman to wear anything less than a T-shirt in rural Thailand) and revealing her blue bathing suit, went further in explaining her actions.
“I wear sexy clothes” Averting his eyes in a rather quick jerk Pancho nodded.
“These are sexy clothes no?” Pancho at a loss of what to reply lied “Yes” and turned the other way while his advisor discretely laughed in his ear. But the woman went on.
“I like America, I can wear sexy clothes all the time. Anywhere and anytime. I like sexy clothes. America is not like here, here you can not wear sexy clothes.” Again Pancho in shock only managed a nod and looked straight ahead at the countryside passing by. She evidently could wear what she considered sexy clothes here, despite her assurance that she couldn’t. Pancho now could see the reason for having been offered seating as clear as day. The whole bus looked like how Pancho felt, slightly embarrassed and definitively avoiding eye contact with the woman. In fact at the next bus stop a further spot opened up for another unknowing and innocent passenger that wanted to sit down. She took the seat between the lady in the bathing suit and his advisor. Now two seats removed from the lady with an exceptional amount of food stacked in front of him Pancho was finally safe.
Eventually the lady had to make her way out of the bus. While leaving she wished Pancho a good stay and sincerely hoped to meet him again. Pancho again used his exceptional gift with words to return these sentiments.
“Yes, goodbye!”
After such an eventful trip, the day was not over however. As so often in Thailand, a party had been planned. This, as usual, consisted of eating, drinking and singing karaoke. Pancho endured, despite no desire to after having attended at least a dozen of these occasions since his arrival. The issue was that he had fairly little to talk about or to say in Thai. No amount of drinking made conversation flow better as the necessary vocabulary was simply missing. It actually seemed to reverse in fact. Pancho understanding the basics of the language by now was even more delighted when drunken friends who generally did not talk much to him decided to teach him words he already knew. This was by far the most amazingly enjoyable activity yet. Sitting at a table, listening to karaoke he did nit understand, being told about one hundred times that a spoon is a spoon. Eventually Pancho decided to make the matter more interesting for himself. In his region, Esan, two languages were spoken. Thai as well as a dialect of Laotian. Thus Pancho was taught 2 different words for many things. Spoon was one of the objects Pancho knew both for. So, bored by the endless repetition and slightly frustrated that he could not tell them to shut up, out of politeness, when one of the drunk guys pointed at a spoon and said the Thai word for it, Pancho would blurt out the Laotian word. A tad drunk the other would think Pancho had not clearly understood and try again. This would go on until the person decided to say the Laotian word for spoon. In this case Pancho would say the Thai word. His tipsy teacher took a fair while to finally realize what was going on. When he did a smile came across his face and he understood to give up.
That was Pancho’s fun for the night. He would use this game frequently thereafter when the situation required it.
After an in depth analysis of the possibilities at hand Pancho came to the same conclusion. However, for insurance reasons he was not allowed to drive in Thailand but for independence reasons he needed an alternative to being chauffeured. So Pancho had decided to learn how to use the Thai public transport system. This he would do together with his very enjoyable advisor. After the first few weeks Pancho considered her a grand master for both joking around as well as serious intellectual conversation.
Thus on a Saturday morning they were to catch the 8am bus to Ubon. The first surprise of the day assaulted Pancho as he boarded that bus. In a jolly mood the driver, who Pancho could not recall ever having met, called him by his Thai nick name and asked where he was heading. Knowing about his relative fame but still somewhat surprised, Pancho replied politely that he was heading to Ubon. This was as a matter of fact the only realistic answer, however in Thailand it is a custom to ask where one is going just as one asks how one is doing in English speaking countries. One is not really interested in the reply.
Sitting in a relatively narrow seat a few moments later, Pancho for the first time was able to admire the luxuries of Thai buses. First of all the doors of this bus stayed open during the entire trip which meant the bus could be boarded anywhere and at anytime. As a matter of fact, every time it passed a small settlement or group of houses the driver would honk to announce his arrival. Just in case somebody failed to hear the tremendously loud bus approaching. What Pancho enjoyed about this bus in particular however was that the driver took pride in his sound system and actually played music for his passengers. Occasionally turning on rotating fans on the ceiling when it got too hot completed the quite comfortable ride. The acceptably cheap price was another bonus. Accordingly, in Pancho’s well traveled books this bus ride ranked quite highly. It fell under the category of: Greeted by name, cheap, enjoyable and relaxing.
Once in Ubon, after having finished some of his necessary shopping, Pancho was invited to enjoy the company of his advisor’s brother’s family. This included wife, daughter in law and grand children. Pancho, as an incredibly gifted linguist was naturally immediately asked to teach the children a little English. To his delight the two kids, about 4 and 8 were better at English than many of the teenagers he taught at school.
Eventually at lunch, Pancho enjoyed a relatively refined meal, not as rustically prepared as at home in Punee. For one, there were no bones in the meal that needed picking out. This made eating far less strenuous. But at the same time the food was only mildly spiced. A few months ago Pancho’s yet inexperienced taste buds would have thought the spices quite sufficient, now however he was somewhat disappointed in the bland application of chili. The two young children’s meal was what actually surprised Pancho however. Not one to be easily thrown he had not expected such strangeness, especially in this region of Thailand where savoury food generally was preferred. The two kids were fed on an entirely different dietary system to what he was accustomed to for anywhere in the world except for maybe America, which had a considerable sweet tooth. This diet made the children’s slight look of overweight plausible. Lunch for them consisted without exception only of a large helping of ice cream and cookies. Pancho, being extremely well mannered and conscious of social etiquette naturally did not remark on this fact. However he hoped dearly that this was not the complete spectrum of their diet. In his extremely wise opinion it did not bode well for their future.
After having enjoyed the meal with his advisor’s family it was finally time to head back home by public transport.
The ride home was by different means than in the morning. The usual mode of transport was by minibus. The term minibus can mean either a flatbed truck or a pick up/ute (for the Australian readers) with a roofed construction on the back, where travelers sit facing each other on opposing benches. The roof may frequently also be used as seating. In this case the roof was actually used for transportation as the relatively small minibus (a small truck) was crammed full with a restaurant’s shopping as well as at least 30 people. These passengers partially sat inside, stood inside, sat on the roof or stood at the end of the truck holding on to railings. Pancho quite enjoyed this mode of transport as it proved to be a different sort of experience and was actually quite cool for the breeze that blew in from the open sides.
On this first occasion however his advisor and him had a strange encounter. They boarded a relatively full bus. However as they climbed aboard, immediately a seating gap opened up at the far left end, right next to a Thai lady in a pink suit.
Soon after sitting down Pancho’s keen sense for recognition of social patterns warned him why seating had been so readily provided. The simple reason for what they initially perceived as luck was a cold and calculated move by the lady to Pancho’s right. She had let the innocent and unknowing newcomers fall into the trap of sitting down between the pink lady and the other passengers on that side. Soon he would understand the gravity of this foolish mistake.
As soon as they were seated the lady in the pink suit started chatting amiably to his advisor. Initially by using monosyllabic answers, his advisor attempted to subtly convey that she was not too interested in conversation. At least in Pancho’s distinguished ability to observe he guessed this much. Evidently not satisfied with this conversation the lady turned to speak to Pancho. Not in Thai but actually in English. Delighted to be speaking to someone this fluent Pancho welcomed a bit of conversation. The lady had lived an America, married an American who had died recently and was now back in Thailand. Pancho’s first flash of interest quickly subsided however. Something about her mix of American and Thai cultures did not quite agree with him. The lady smiled frequently and was very interested in foreigners, evidently the Thai culture. But at the same time she was extremely outgoing and failed to register any subtle uses of language intended to direct the conversation. This as Pancho found were characteristics present in some Americans and could make it difficult to uphold the conversation. On their own, Pancho could enjoy all of these characteristics considerably, mixed together however they did cause a tad of worry for good old Pancho. He first became aware of this sentiment when the woman would not stop talking about money not being able to buy love and all. Not having anything further to add to her succinct analysis of the matter, he nodded. This became the standard pattern of their conversation. Pancho eventually gave up on trying to influence it and followed his advisor’s monosyllabic example. However he realized that the situation was becoming critical when the woman decided to take off her pink suit jacket revealing a blue bathing suit beneath. The at least 60 year old woman commented on this in the following matter.
“Oh it is hot!” To this Pancho said a definitive and approving “Yes”
Then undressing (to the other passenger’s horror. It is inappropriate for a woman to wear anything less than a T-shirt in rural Thailand) and revealing her blue bathing suit, went further in explaining her actions.
“I wear sexy clothes” Averting his eyes in a rather quick jerk Pancho nodded.
“These are sexy clothes no?” Pancho at a loss of what to reply lied “Yes” and turned the other way while his advisor discretely laughed in his ear. But the woman went on.
“I like America, I can wear sexy clothes all the time. Anywhere and anytime. I like sexy clothes. America is not like here, here you can not wear sexy clothes.” Again Pancho in shock only managed a nod and looked straight ahead at the countryside passing by. She evidently could wear what she considered sexy clothes here, despite her assurance that she couldn’t. Pancho now could see the reason for having been offered seating as clear as day. The whole bus looked like how Pancho felt, slightly embarrassed and definitively avoiding eye contact with the woman. In fact at the next bus stop a further spot opened up for another unknowing and innocent passenger that wanted to sit down. She took the seat between the lady in the bathing suit and his advisor. Now two seats removed from the lady with an exceptional amount of food stacked in front of him Pancho was finally safe.
Eventually the lady had to make her way out of the bus. While leaving she wished Pancho a good stay and sincerely hoped to meet him again. Pancho again used his exceptional gift with words to return these sentiments.
“Yes, goodbye!”
After such an eventful trip, the day was not over however. As so often in Thailand, a party had been planned. This, as usual, consisted of eating, drinking and singing karaoke. Pancho endured, despite no desire to after having attended at least a dozen of these occasions since his arrival. The issue was that he had fairly little to talk about or to say in Thai. No amount of drinking made conversation flow better as the necessary vocabulary was simply missing. It actually seemed to reverse in fact. Pancho understanding the basics of the language by now was even more delighted when drunken friends who generally did not talk much to him decided to teach him words he already knew. This was by far the most amazingly enjoyable activity yet. Sitting at a table, listening to karaoke he did nit understand, being told about one hundred times that a spoon is a spoon. Eventually Pancho decided to make the matter more interesting for himself. In his region, Esan, two languages were spoken. Thai as well as a dialect of Laotian. Thus Pancho was taught 2 different words for many things. Spoon was one of the objects Pancho knew both for. So, bored by the endless repetition and slightly frustrated that he could not tell them to shut up, out of politeness, when one of the drunk guys pointed at a spoon and said the Thai word for it, Pancho would blurt out the Laotian word. A tad drunk the other would think Pancho had not clearly understood and try again. This would go on until the person decided to say the Laotian word for spoon. In this case Pancho would say the Thai word. His tipsy teacher took a fair while to finally realize what was going on. When he did a smile came across his face and he understood to give up.
That was Pancho’s fun for the night. He would use this game frequently thereafter when the situation required it.
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